Recently, my friend Pauly Dangerous posted an interesting topic on his website. He asked people to ask him 3 questions and then he would post the answers. Here are the three questions I asked him, including his answers (Pauly may be the smartest person (if he is indeed a person and not a visitor from a superior advanced planet, sent here to observe human behavior) on the planet.):


1. Who invented the squirrel?
Squirrel's were genetically engineered and created in the early 40s to sell a new brand of peanut-butter. The companies R&D lab invented both peanut-butter and cute park animal. I think their head research went on to work at Disney and later invented the chipmunk.


2. If I was a monkey and I drove thru a stop sign and caused an accident, would I.C.B.C. cover the injured driver of the other vehicle?
Yes, because the other driver has insurance from I.C.B.C. That said, I'm sure I.C.B.C. would have a monkey clause that minimizes the settlement the other driver would receive. Greedy bastards.


3. If you were in the front of a train travelling 186,001 miles per second and you switched on a flashlight and aimed it straight ahead, would the light slowly lag behind you, or would it just beam straight ahead like it would under normal circumstances?
The light would nearly simultaneously shoot ahead and lag behind. As the photons were created, their relative speed with the train would cause them - for an instant - to be travelling at 186,001 mps + 186,000X, where X is the portion of the speed of light the photons are able to obtain relative to the infinite mass of the train. Human instruments are not currently sensitive enough to measure this, although they will be after July 17, 2146.