Ladies and Gentlemen, it's the moment you've all been waiting for...

The Ghetto Furniture Showcase!!!

 

Check out this fab used mattress! It's got stains on it! This
can be yours for only $199.99!!!
Get it now, before it gets too wet!

Here's an exciting washer and dryer combo! Got a place that's
already trashed? This pair will fit right in! The front panel on the dryer has
already been kicked in, so YOU won't have to! Imagine the fights
that will break out when the neighbors find out you got a washer
and dryer and they didn't! Only
$299.99 for the pair!!

Been wondering what to get the wife for Christmas buddy? Well forget about
fighting for a parking spot at Value Village! Forget about bus tickets and all
those cab drivers that won't take your fake credit card! Here's the perfect
gift: This sexy used stove!!! Where's the oven door you ask? Make no mistake
mister, it's been strategically removed! You see, this oven has been designed
with multi-tasking in mind! Yes'm that's right, you can heat the
entire apartment while you're cooking those brownies! Landlord turn the gas off
on ya again? Well screw him! Just throw a chicken in this oven, turn up the heat
and there ya go! Your neighbors will wonder where you got all that heat
from--and the smoke too! Don't let this deal get away, several people are
looking at this model as you're reading this!
$150.99!!!

How 'bout a sweet Stove/Washer/Dryer combo? Get all three at a reduced price for
only $450.00!!! Your friends will
think you got a job or something! They'll be chillin' at your pad
now!

And finally, the essential Dish Washer! Yes, this is it, the
top-of-the-pyramid in kitchen appliances! Custom designed with wires and
fiberglass insulation all over it! It even comes with a few bonus parts that may
of may not be from this unit! Better hurry, it's only been on the side of the
road for a few days. These things go fast! Get your buddies to help you pick it
up today for only $195.98!!!